A friend of mine send me today a really interesting article about hijab: http://aveilandadarkplace.com/2013/08/03/the-hijab-suppression-and-objectification-part-one/ I personally never had a very strong opinion on hijab - I didn't grow up in a country where women wore it but could understand the rationale behind it, still, to me it always felt like a personal choice that a woman should make based on her own comfort, beliefs and will, not something to be influenced by the family or society. But hijab is not what I want to discuss here, because in my opinion, hijab, just like any other piece of women's clothing should not be the focus of a debate. We should not read articles written by women discussing what we can or can't do to appear modest, we should not debate whether hijabs or bikinis of this world are supression or freedom to women.The topic of the debate should be men.
Recent years seen a growing number of discussions about women being objectified. We went from suffragettes fighting for voting rights for women to high hills and skimpy dresses that became the attributes of today's "independent" women who allegedly want to be seen as equal to men. And so we have women with cigarettes, women holding bottle of beer, women driving, women in the workplace, we have female firefighters, soldiers and police officers. We have women in sports and space, engineering and education. You can make it to the top in any way you want, but as you're on your way there what men and media seem to be interested in, is your fashion sense or the clevege to waist ratio. Is that freedom or are we still sexual objects? And more importantly, whose fault is it?
Women and men are both equally responsible for the state of matters, but sadly it is mostly female voices that can be heard in the debate about women's rights. Men like to talk about women's responsibilities better. There's a certain degree of hypocrisy among men of this world- none of them would like to see their mother, sister or daughter dressed like a "whore", attracting the horny thoughts of men out there. They wouldn't want some guy to think of "fucking" their sister/daughter/cousin but when they see a pair of nice breasts, slim legs or a nice ass walking past they don't see a person, they see just that. And instead of feeling ashamed they either exchange sexist comments with their friends or condemn the woman for wearing "provocative" clothing. Dear men, can you really not see any hypocrisy in that?
Ladies, you are not free from blame though. I am not saying that we should never wear anything revealing, all I'm saying is that you should ask yourself WHY you're wearing the short skirt you chose. Is it because it is summer and it's just practical, is it because it is the most comfortable piece of clothing you have, or is it because you know that exposing your legs will make men look at you and thus increase your sense of self-worth? Would you be wearing this low-cleveage if you were home alone because it makes you feel great or do you only put it on as you go out to see other people and get their admiration? Are your long skirt and loose blouse on you because you really want to wear them or did you put them on "not to provoke" anyone? Do you really love those pastel colours or were you lead to belive that this is what girls should like? Do you wear your clothes for YOU or to get men's attention/friend's jealousy/society's respect? Sadly we still live in times where family, religion and society still a very clear idea of what a woman should be. A man can be whoever he wants to be, however he wants to be, wherever he wants to be. A woman is SUPPOSED to be: delicate/well-manared/caring/loving/soft-spoken/family-oriented/a good wife/ a good mother. Yes, she can work, yes she can get education, pursue her passions, just as long as she does that in the gentle, feminine way, holding a baby in one arm and cooking a meal for her tired husband. If she doesn't follow these guidlines, so long happiness, farewell family life, because men want "a chef in the kitchen, a maid in the living room and a whore in the bedroom". Or at least that's what we are being taught.
And men? Men are lead to belive that their mission in life is to get a gorgeous woman, become successful and have a son (all that with a bottle of beer in their hand and a bunch of guys kicking a ball in the background). Media teaches both men and women alike that men have only three true interests: sport, cars and women. What happened to the old-times where men actually pursued politics, knew about art, discussed literature? I refuse to believe that men so easily and willingly sacrificed their moral values and interest in the world for sex and football. I fail to accept that after thousands of years of evolution men are back to fighting (the substitute of which is sport) and spreading their genes. But I do believe the current culture and media reinforce those primitive urges, just like they reinforce the few clearly defined roles a woman can hold in the society.
If we were raising children to see themselves and others as a person, not a boy or a girl, Christian or Muslim, Black or White, perhaps we would have a society where people don't have to follow their lables, where people had a bit deeper interests that fashion, clubbing and TV. Call me naive, but I believe that if we were encouraged from the beginning to pursue hobbies, do rather than watch sports, read, learn out of curiosity not necessity, maybe this world would be a little less sexist and instead of discussing bikini-or-burqa both men and women would direct their energy to helping fight poverty, inventing a cure for cancer or solving the crisis in Syria.
