Freedom

Freedom of choice. Something we like to talk about, something the westerners take for granted, something we still don't really have.

How free are you? Most of us would think about how we get to choose any career that we want, get a partner of our choice, we can travel and even choose the country we live in. But are we really as free as we believe?

The choices we make are hardly ever just ours. We tend to choose things we know or that are easily acceptable by the surrounding culture, our preferences are shaped by the places where we grew up and by the people who have played significant roles in our lives. We choose things because we are scared of the alternative or we convinced ourselves that our actions were rational and well thought through. But that's hardly ever true.

As much as I love the world we live in, I also see how wrong we got with some of the most important aspects of our lives. Let's look at career and education for example. Most of us are encouraged to choose their profession when they are young. We ask 5 year old what they want to become when they grow up, we urge teenagers to choose subjects at school that are most likely to land them the job they committed to at the age of 9. We like consistency and labels and we impose them on everyone else from their early beginnings. I've been always interested in many things and struggled when my parents and teachers tried to convince me to focus on one thing and excell in it. Because that's what people do, that's the requirement of the western success. To be the best at something. Not be fairly good in many things as long as you enjoy yourself, no, we want perfection. If a child likes to play piano, they will become a pianist, we will make him or her practice etiudes over and over again until they master them and if the kid is not enjoying it, it's because they don't understand the need for practice and they will thank us one day, when they've already become the next Beethoven. But maybe, just maybe, we should let some things stay fun?

I work full-time and after work I go to yoga, bellydance, dancehall, Spanish and French classes, read about photography, psychology and volunteer in a charity. I do it because I genuinely enjoy all these things. I didn't decide to sign up for them because I thought that it was a practical thing to do or because I was hoping that one day I will be able to wrap by leg around my neck or be the next Robert Capa. I don't need to be the best in either of them. What matters is that I'm doing something I enjoy and that I know that at the end of a long day at work I get to be myself, do something that is just for my own sake. It gives me the sense of balance, it means that my work or relationship doesn't define me. I'm happy doing these things because they're part of my element, they come to me naturally and it feels like everything is falling in the right place where I engage in these activities. Why should I give it up and focus on one, maybe two of them and strive for perfection? Will it make me happy? I doubt it.

Of course, there are many people out there who focus on only one of their passions and put all their energy into it, maybe for them there has always been just that one passion and they can't image life without it. If that's what they genuinely like and they do it because when they don't, it feels like a piece of them is missing, then I am really happy that they found their calling. I do believe that very often their devotion leads the to the top. However, in my opinion,  it is a fundamental error in our thinking and education to assume that people have only a certain talent, that you are either a humanist or a scientist, that if you like maths then you shouldn't excell in English literature. It's a very confined view on human abilities and potential.

It is also true for intelligence, we tend to see ourselves as somewhere on a scale, if we scored low in an IQ test we would start thinking that we are not as intelligent as we wanted to be and that as unfortunate as it is, there is nothing we can do about it. But who said so? Scientists? They've been wrong many times, they are only humans and while some experiments indicate one thing, there are usually a few that completely contradict it. But media and teachers like consistency so unless you start digging into the topic yourself you will be usually presented with just one side of the coin.

I was to focus on my studies, to become a psychologist. Then reality came along and since it's been difficult to find a job within my field, I am now expected to devote my life to my career. Just for the next few years that is, because eventually my life is to focus on the family. But even if you love your job and family, there always needs to be something that is just yours, that you like to do and perhaps have ability to do quite well. We don't need to follow the one role the society, family or friends have prepared for us. If you want true freedom, develop yourself in something that you enjoy doing and do it just for you, for the sheer joy of doing it. Thinking about living far away from anyone you currently know and having unlimited resources. If that was the case, what would you do? What do you REALLY enjoy doing, not what you were told you like, not what you were lead to believe is cool or useful.  Don't think only about the things that you are good at, if there is such thing and you love it, go for it, but if you learnt to do something really well but never really enjoyed it, then what's the point? Once you understand what constitutes your element, make sure you introduce it back into your life, sign up for the classes or find people with similar interest, just do something about it. And when you do, notice how nice it feels to choose to be yourself, to live your life not according to other people's standards and wishes, but to follow your own path. The majority is not always right.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bdOTUocn5w